I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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