What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
