I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
