The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
