i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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