ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
