There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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