thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize