haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
