WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize