There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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