my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
