so that wasnt chicken after all
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
