and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize