There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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