The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize