Sponge bath it is.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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