he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
