Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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