I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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