I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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