your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
