Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
