I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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