Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
