how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
