Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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