fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
