i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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