I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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