how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize
