Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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