I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
