My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
