Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
