The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
