Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
