How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
