I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
