I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Randomize
