I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
