I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
