My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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