I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
