Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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