I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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