I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize