Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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