We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
