the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize