Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
