You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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