I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
