awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
