why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
