Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
