every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
