I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
