Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
