a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
