Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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